A Sure and Effective Cure for Romance
is never to take your girl to a dance
Never take her out to dine
and never be in bed by nine
Flowers are fine as long as they're dead
and don't go giving her breakfast-in-bed
Valentine's Day is to be neglected
(remember it once and it's always expected)
Never buy perfume for birthday's and such
even sending a card is a little too much
Lingeire is totally off the list
and anniversaries should always be missed
If you happen to be caught in an amorous clench
then a kiss is okay, but Liverpool, not French
If she seems to be getting a little bit frisky
say that in this day and age sex is too risky
Remember to keep these rules clear in your head
and follow them closely, both single and wed
For if you happen to be maritally cursed
the rules still apply, but apply in reverse
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